For a short while in high school (during the Tulsa years), I worked in a drug store photo lab. Occasionally, a phantom homeless lady would pay us a visit.  Maybe I shouldn’t say ‘pay‘ us a visit, because our store never saw a dime of her money.  Her purpose was to shoplift and also to douse (AND I DO MEAN DOUSE, folks) herself in a cheapo fake parfum de stinky.  I haven’t thought of that lady for YEARS until yesterday when I smelled another lady wearing the same perfume at Bible Study.  Yet another association induced by smell. 

New Word for your day (a Maren-ism): EWWWW d’état
Definition: a sudden overbearing exercise of perfume in social settings ; especially : the violent attack or overpowering of a helpless individual by a select few who wear perfume that is pungently offensive.

I am all for perfume.  I have a few bottles myself, but please do me a favor and remember the following tips.  #1. Less is more.  If you smell like you’ve just stepped from a flower garden into a vat of aromatherapy, take the clue that you’ve probably put on too much. #2 It’s fine if you appreciate this particular smell…but if you plan to see me, please avoid wearing it during our encounter. Otherwise, I’ll figure you’re stinky and homeless.  And I’ll be forced to excuse myself from your presence…

…but then maybe, you’ll want to wear it???

Got any of your own smell association stories for me?

This past week was definitely uneventful…our lights were out for 4 days; our church people grilled up 400 hotdogs to give out at a parade; I locked Michael, Zippy, & me out of the house at 11:30 one night; & we found out on FRIDAY that our church couldn’t meet yesterday at the school building where we regularly meet…  Definitely uneventful, so I’m going a different route with my blog today.

Associations are funny.  Do you have random associations in your life that whenever a situation happens, it triggers your thoughts to something or someone else?

*When I see an old school mechanical pencil (with the silver tip & the skinny eraser), I think of my junior high youth pastor who would always write in his day planners with just that.

*When I see the time and the numbers are all the same (1:11, 2:22, 3:33, etc.), I think about and pray for my brother, who once found that phenomenon to be cool and shared it with my mom.

*When I hear the spoken word “nickel,” I think of my roommate in college who had a goofy rhyme that she would sing anytime someone would say “nickel.”  My mom gave me a nickel to buy a pickle, I didn’t buy a pickle, I bought some chewing gum.  Chewing gum, Chewing gum, I love chewing gum.

*When I get $.41 in change, I am reminded of working at a drug store in high school.  That’s my favorite amount of change to give a customer because it’s one of every coin: A Quarter, A Dime, A Nickel, and Penny.

*When I see a Geo Tracker, I’m instantly reminded of a lady I once knew who was the frequent culprit of T.M.I.  (Unless you’re one who considers The reason she refused to wear pantyhose “pertinent information.”

*When I ride in a canoe, I think of an exaggeratory, hillbilly of a tour guide from Arkansas who told our junior high/high school youth group that if we fell out of the boat, we were going to get hypothermia and DIE (though he pronounced it more like “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”) and told us that to prevent this, we should all wear plastic garbage bags under our clothing.  He also told us that if we fell in the water and the canoe were to come at us, we should move out of the way (thanks, Captain Obvious…) because the force of “One HUNDRED THOUUUUUUUUUUSAND POUNDS OF PRESSURE” would impale and kill us. We ignored him.  We all lived.

*When I use the bathroom at a library, I think of the time that I locked myself in the bathroom at our public library and yelled until my mom came to rescue me.  I can still remember the feeling of terror as I naturally assumed that my life was endangered and would be ending momentarily.  I was 19.  Okay, not really… I was maybe 5?

*When I see one  librarian in particular, I try to avoid him because I’m plagued with guilt.  I paid my library fine to this librarian once with all pennies because I was irritated and felt wronged about the fine that I had incurred. (I was wrong, I confess.)

*When I make a flop of a dish in the kitchen, I am reminded of what my mom told me to do when this happens… just rename it to something so no one will know it’s a flop.  Turn a bad looking chocolate cake into “AVALANCHE Chocolate Cake.” Turn soupy enchiladas into “Enchilada Casserole Au Jus.” Usually this little secret does wonders… except this week, I renamed a dish to “My name is Hurl.”  I fed some to the dog and threw the rest away.  Sometimes you can’t even pretend to salvage a disaster disguised as cooked ‘Hurl’. Sigh.

So, I’m dying to hear some of YOUR associations.  Fill in the blanks.  When I _____________________, I think of ______________________________.

When I taught fifth grade, I set my classroom up on a mini-economy system with Bame* Bucks.  The students earned money for coming to school and doing their classroom ‘job’.  It became funny to me because the students viewed the classroom money as if it actually had value. 

One student, in particular, wouldn’t even use the bathroom because I required the students to pay me a Bame Buck to be excused from class to go.  I’d offer several enticing knick-knacks and continually reminded the students that as with any reward, they would have to count the cost & determine if the sacrifice was worth it. 

Some yielded to the temptation of buying trinkets such as a sparkly pen.  Others, desiring to be the RICHEST person in the classroom, held tightly onto their money in anticipation of the year-end auction.  It was quite comical as their teacher, though I never revealed my smirk!  To their fifth grade minds, this was serious business!

On to real life, and with that SAME principle in mind, I appreciate this lady.  She counted the cost and realized that her comfort and the familiarity of her home were priceless.  Good for her.  It’s refreshing to see people who are not dictated by money’s sway.

*Last name changed to protect my innocence???