Trinkets of Thought

Thinking of a name for a child stresses me out.  So, I tend to forget about the important task at hand and focus on other important tasks….like facebook or playing games online.  There’s still 128 days left (ACK!) and I’ll just do it later. 

Names are so important.  I’ve always loved the uniqueness of my name–I love the fact that you don’t meet too many other Marens.  I want to give that same gift to my child.  But, I don’t want it to be so weird that he hates it, either.  So, the task is HUGE!  While trying to come up with a name for this child, we were reminded of a hilarious name story that happened to my mom over 20 years ago.  Stick with it, you’ll enjoy it. PROMISE.

When my younger brother, Griffin, was still a very young tyke, my mom heard that a Sesame Street Muppet character had also been coincidentally named “GRIFFIN.”  My mom’s ‘MOTHER BEAR’ instinct arose, and she instantly sat down to write a letter of complaint to Jim Henson.  The gist of her letter was to convince Jim Henson and his muppet team that a muppet should be given an uncommon name–so creative that no kid should be punished by sharing the same name with A MONSTER.  Names like Snuffleupagus and Big Bird were totally fine, for no kid could ever POSSIBLY be given those names.  BUT, giving a child’s name to a muppet could damage a kid’s psyche for life.

My mom sent the letter on its way.  To her surprise, a letter arrived in the following weeks from Jim Henson’s office on his official letterhead!  Now, unbeknownst to my mom, this letter was actually from her best friend.  The letter is absolutely making fun of everything my mother had written, but my mom had no clue.  My mom did NOT see the humor of the letter and really believed that it came from Jim Henson.  She thought good ole’ Jim was was mocking all that she had written.  My mom has kept that letter, and oh, how we roll with laughter when we read it today.  Here it is:

(FIRST: One VERY IMPORTANT note of explanation if you don’t know me personally: My older brother’s name is ROSS.)

MUPPETS, INC:  a member of the Benanty Group
 
June 16, 1988
 
Mrs. Brenda Meyers
208 Quail Ridge Loop
City, State Zip
 
Dear Mrs. Meyers,
 
I’ve been plagued with guilt ever since I heard about your concern over Griffin, our monster and Griffin, your beloved son.  I can’t sleep at night knowing I might be responsible for ruining his life. Let me share with you my personal history and you will see why your plight is so close to my heart.
 
I have four brothers and a sister. The youngest was named Dennis. All through his childhood kids made fun of him because of “Dennis the Menace”. Finally when he was an adult, he had his name changed but alas, it was too late. The psychological damage had already been done. Perhaps you have heard of him — The Son of Sam?
 
My next brother went through similar trauma. His name was Ed. Children mercilessly teased him about being Mr Ed, the talking horse. He too changed his name. Ever heard of Charles Manson?
 
Another brother was named Felix. Everyone was always asking him where his bag of tricks was. This haunted him all through life. He likewise changed his name. Poor John Hinkley, Jr, never was a good shot.
 
Then there’s the twins and the family dog — Charlie, Lucy and Snoopy. Charlie and Lucy were tormented day and night. Nobody wanted to play softball with them. Nobody would pay Lucy 5 cents for advice. All the redheaded girls hated Charlie. People kept trying to make Snoopy sleep on top of his dog house. Again, too late, they resorted to name changes. John Gacy and Lynette “Squeaky” Fromme had already been damaged beyond repair and Lassie — well we have at least one success story.
 
I suppose this name changing pattern started with Dad. He was just a country boy. Friendly as could be, always saying “howdy” to folk and waving at them. His name was Doody. It wasn’t long until the teasing eroded his self esteem. He no longer waved but just stuck his arm straight out and grunted some UGH sounding word. Next, he changed his name to Adolph Hitler.
 
All this tore my Mother’s heart to pieces just as yours is being torn. So, in honor of my Mother, Theresa, I will change the name of Griffin the Monster. I’ve found a name no mother would name her child. It’s more of a sound than a name — like someone clearing their throat or a dog growling. Very fitting for a monster. What do you think of —- ROSS?
 
Sincerely,
Jim Hanson
Creator of the Muppets
 

Hahahah!  Happy weekend!