Recently, I’ve been having the problem with inflicting pain upon myself. Of course, always accidental, but geez! You’d think I could tone down the pain!
Instance #1 Nothing I do in my life is done quietly or gracefully… My whole life shouts, “HERE I AM!” So, I’m at work…walking at a brisk pace down the hall, heading home for the day. I have to exit through a door. Yet I miss the latch, and keep right on walking. MY CHIN hits the door at full force. It hurts, but I laugh at my stupidity.
Instance #2 Michael recently started shutting one of the doors in our house at night. He has been doing this on a sporadic basis… WELL, One recent evening, he shut the door, of which I did not know about. Pitch dark. Maren walks ‘into’ the room, but instead only walks into the door. I cry out in pain and say something like, “Well, how was I supposed to know the door was closed?” Michael then puts two and two together…he shut door…loud noise…maren’s comment… and laughs hysterically.
Instance #3 I underestimate the force of my strength. One morning recently, I go to move a child’s scooter toy that we have at our house for our little visitors. Being a very tiny house, we have to hide things in creative places so our house isn’t cluttered. This particular item was behind our bed. I needed to move it to get to an item stored under the bed. It’s wedged between the bed and the wall. So, without rationalizing what I am doing, I pull really hard( OF COURSE forgetting that the handle comes loose). As if in slow motion, it comes loose, I realize what is happening, and my hand with the same force as my forceful pulling, smacks into my lip, which causes me to bite it– significantly. Joy.
Instance#4 TAKES THE CAKE—This was really similar to Instance #3, except this time was getting a vase from a cupboard in my kitchen. Visualize this with me… I’m on a chair. The vase is wedged in a difficult-to-obtain position… I pull really hard. My extreme force, allows the vase to nudge free, and I smack me square in the eye… “Oh that’ll leave a mark!” Instantly a welt forms, and I’m doomed to have a black eye. Sigh.
I won’t claim it as an instance because I didn’t hurt myself, but on Tuesday, I opened the door a little too hard, and put a hole in the wall. Michael, my ever patient husband, just made a comment about how he enjoys to patch up walls. 🙂
What’s up with me?!?!?
Things I’ve learned from my inflictions:
1. When will I ever learn?
2. I’m not by any means strong, but sometimes I underestimate my aggressiveness.
3. There is nothing wrong with doing things wholeheartedly, I just wish that I could channel my useless “wholehearted” efforts (resulting in pain) into more productive results! Vigor isn’t bad–it just needs to be aimed at more appropriate targets.
Lovely, eh? Sigh… Funny things, though, about having a black eye…
One thing my company does is helps victims of domestic violence. Maybe I’ll get promoted to a spokesperson position!
Also, I find it funny that my husband is a pastor, and I have a black eye. Michael took me out for ice cream a couple nights ago, so I made sure to say, “Well, if you hadn’t hit me, you wouldn’t have had to take me out for ice cream.” Of course, I said it in the parking lot so no one around could hear, but Michael made sure to curtail my jokes so that no one would report him to the authorities for undue cause.
Life–gotta love it!