I’ve been jealous of the blogs that frequently have giveaways of books, crafts, and $ giftcards (all of which I never win *cough *cough)! I don’t really have much to give away-haven’t written a book, haven’t been artsy-craftsy lately, have other priorities right now with the $ fund…So, I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with a prize where the stakes are high–Something so valuable that readers will be entering multiple times under pseudonyms in order to win the prize. Note to those tempted: Only one entry per reader, please.
Up for GIVEAWAY today is something so valuable (to whom?) that I flinch for a whole second when I think of all that I’m relinquishing. It’s something that you will fall instantly in love with (orrrrrrrrrrrrrrr not.) It is something that will make your heart purr with gladness (or hiss with irritation). Up for GIVEAWAY, my dear friends, is my LOVELY (or not so much) cat. I’ll lovingly (or not so lovingly) refer to him in this blog as ‘KITTY’; perhaps ‘ruthless, psycho-lion’ would be a better term, but I want you to be as equally as excited about this giveaway as I am…so I’ll stick with KITTY.
I have learned that the best way to love KITTY is on his terms. Here’s what to expect if you are the proud owner of this giveaway!
KITTY can pose as cute and cuddly
BUT pet at your own risk. In this picture, he actually is in stealth mode and is waiting to bat at my hand.
KITTY spends much of the time lurking around the house, waiting to pounce…
but don’t be surprised to catch him on his hind legs, looking more like a bear at the circus rather than a cat in a home.
KITTY has a natural intuition to get right in your way…
and he guards his plunder carefully.
Your Mother and Mother-In-Law alike will tremble at this creature (I speak from firsthand experience). KITTY guards the hallway, challenging anyone to dare and pass him. He does all this with his loving (evil) glare alone as he really can’t meow. He bleats like a sheep more than any type of meow noise, but to his credit, he has perfected the hiss.
KITTY lovingly responds with a purr when you pet him (or not).
I promise (fingers-crossed) he’s nice. Really. Just look at that cute(?) face.
KITTY is VERY docile, tame, and predictable (whatever…)
And the good news about this giveaway, is YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO LEAVE A COMMENT TO ENTER THIS CONTEST! I’ve already included you in this giveaway just because I love you!
*Now before you go and report me to PETA or your local animal rights group, please know this post is in jest. Though my cat and I simply tolerate each other, I would never impose my good fortune (curse) on someone else. I think perhaps he’s trying to get back at me for toilet training him as a kitten. He complied until he got too fat to go on the toilet, then decided one day he wouldn’t do it anymore. I decided some battles aren’t worth the fight and promptly went out and bought a litter box. Maybe it’s because of that for which he hates me (and you). Or, maybe it’s simply because I tried to domesticate a feral cat, I do not know. Whatever the case, we tolerate each other nicely. NOW if you indeed would happen to desire this pyschokitty, spastic, kid-hating, maren-thinks-he-has-a-disorder, people-hissin’, quirky, lion-sized cat, just let me know. The price is right! I’ll even throw in his food and litter box!
*And maybe one day, I’ll have a real giveaway. Sorry(?) if I got your hopes up 
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