When I am at a restaurant, I drink more than a parched camel on a trek through the Sahara Desert. (Side note: Did you know that a camel will drink approx 26 gallons to 40 gallons in one drink? That’s a bathtub of water, people!) I require multiple refills during the course of dinner–probably equivalent to a bathtub, too. That’s one reason I skip the extra calories of a soda or the carbonation of a diet drink. I love my water!

So, I have a beef with Taco Bueno (Puns make me chortle at myself) and I’m irritated with Panera. Please allow me thirty seconds of your gripe time, and then I’ll put this issue to rest (until the next time I’m stiffed). Sunday, my irritation peaked.

I stopped in the drive-thru for lunch. I ordered $10 worth of food and a water. Now, I am fully aware that ten bucks isn’t a great amount of money. But I certainly have expectations when patronizing a food establishment-even a fast food one. When I pulled up, they handed me a dixie-size cup of water with my $10 order. Everything about this makes me want to snatch my money back and drive away. It REALLY gripes me.

First, and foremost, if skimpy-water-giver restaurants wanted my business, they could use a little reverse psychology. Here’s my reasoning: The larger the water cup, the more I’ll have to pee. The more I have to pee, the more often I’ll have to frequent the restroom. The more often I have to frequent the restroom, the more often I will frequent the restaurant. The more I frequent the restaurant, the more I’ll buy…But reverse psychology is beside the point.

I DO NOT LIKE BEING PUNISHED for ordering a water. I cannot imagine how they are saving THAT MUCH money by giving me an infant size drink. Is a few square inches of waxed cardboard REALLY that costly? Panera & Bueno, I’m sorry for putting you out with my order.

Before completing this rant, I realize that if you ASK, they will give it to you. That’s just it. I don’t feel that one should HAVE to ask–I should not be punished for ordering water over their dumb soda. I realize in a down economy, they are saving money. But maybe I’d spend a few more shekels at their business if they kept me happy.

So, thanks for listening to my two cents. But maybe I should keep those pennies. I understand many places are charging for condiments these days…but that’s a whole separate beef.

In case you’re not my facebook friend and you enjoy reading these 25-piece bit o’ randomness ditties, here ya’re:

1. I am the product of many spankings. 🙂  My mom said that when I was young, the faster in the day I got a spanking, the better I was.  I tried various lines such as “You are wasting my time…” and “Don’t ever do that again…”  None worked; trust me, kids.

2.  I like to send random pieces of whatnot through the USPS, without any box & with the address and stamps right on the item.  I have sent plates, large toy balls, flip flops, cereal boxes, a bottle of pills with the letter cut up into strips and stuffed inside of empty pills, etc.  Michael was the main recipient of these items, mostly during the summers between college years.

3.  Both sets of my grandparents share the same names: Paul & Dorothy.

4.  I once fell off a bunk bed and had to be woken up to go to the hospital.  My camp counselor only knew I had fallen because I was groaning in my sleep.  I still love my sleep.

5.  Survivor doesn’t want me, Amazing Race must not need me, Million Dollar password doesn’t care about me & Wheel of Fortune doesn’t know I exist.  I know.  I’ve applied.  Many times.

6.  The only wreck I’ve ever been in happened in snowy weather.  As a result, every time it flurries, I drive like a 92 year-old crazy lady & think about the mean woman cop who ticketed me for sliding through a stop sign. 

7.  My husband is the best person I’ve ever known.

8.  My cat is psycho, and I wish I could get rid of him.  BUT no one in their right mind would ever take him, so we tolerate each other (until I have my baby…then the cat may just disappear or else I’ll wake up one day and my baby’s head will be gnawed off…)

9.  I love to play Ultimate Frisbee, but would not consider myself to be a ‘Superstar’ or even good at it.

10.  I had my appendix removed in 7th grade over Christmas break.  My doctor was named something like Dr. Thuyumyusandrum and one thing I remember about him was that he blew his nose right into the sink while washing his hands during my post-surgery examination.  Um…..ewwwww.

11.  The smell of freshly brewed coffee is tolerable; after that, it all goes downhill from there–On the breath, stale coffee, the odor remaining in a car, etc, it really grosses me out.  I hate washing coffee paraphernalia and wish I could be grateful for the free pound of coffee my husband gets every week for working at Starbucks.  I simply cannot.

12.  I was once a member of the National Button Society.  I saw an article about a lady who collected sewing buttons and started a collection myself.

13.  My dad and uncle share a birthday in April, and my brother and I share a birthday in November.  I’ve always loved it!

14.  It is a true shame that Panera discontinued their savory scones. 

15.  I love it when I get $.41 in change.  It’s one of each type of coin.

16.  I will use whatever we have, but my favorite toothpaste is Colgate, the white kind–Not the gel, orange citrus flavored, blue paste or any kind with baking soda (puke).

17.  My first job was working in a photo lab at a drug store.  I loved it!

18.  Meetings make me feel claustrophobic.

19.  We engraved our own wedding rings.  I made a mistake on mine. (Don’t worry, I got Michael’s name right…hahah!)

20.  Just a few weeks after I had been married, I played a practical joke on some youth group girls by faking an engagement and allowing a single lady to use my engagement ring.  The problem was that the joke turned on me!!!  It got stuck on her hand and had to get cut off at a hospital.  Thankfully, the jeweler liked the story so much, he fixed the ring for free.

21.  My favorite place to go online is www.reader.google.com  If you don’t have a blog reader, you are missing out on life.

22.  I am a practical gift-giver and gift receiver.  Not saying that I wouldn’t like the occasional bouquet of flowers (what girl doesn’t every now and then????), but I would much rather a big block of Dubliner cheese than a dozen roses on most occasions.

23.  I wish that I could have a job where the job description would be “Playing Games All Day.”  You name it, I love it: Settlers, Ticket to Ride, Blokus, Euchre, Spades, Skipbo, Dutch Blitz, etc.

24.  I once got in trouble for chewing gum at the National Archives Museum in DC.  A cop had told me upon entering to spit out my gum.  After we were done with the museum and were almost ready to leave (but waiting for my mom…), I popped a piece back in my mouth.  Wouldn’t ya’ know, the same cop saw me and scared me to death by threatening arrest.  He also gave me the option to spit it out and leave.  I chose that option.

25.  I am very scatterbrained and get easily distracted before completing a task.  That is why #25 has been empty for over 8 hours..