When a Little Debbie prize package is on the line, I resort to begging.  I have no shame. 

Yesterday, I entered a haiku contest on my New Year’s Resolutions (or lack thereof) at  http://rocksinmydryer.typepad.com/.  Today, I learned that I’m a finalist! 

One of the amazing prizes in the prize package is a box of Little Debbie Snacks.  Now, please take a moment to close your eyes and reminisce about the magic of a Little Debbie Snack–perhaps this may take you back to times that the Soccer Team Mom brought Star Crunch Cosmic Snacks for the halftime treat and you devoured 6 because your mom only fed you bran snacks….or the many Oatmeal Cream pies you had to deny eating (yesterday) because the entire box was eaten in less than 30 minutes.  Next, I want you to feel sorry for this pregnant woman who forgot her lunch today, bought breakfast from a vending machine and subsequently burnt it to flames in the toaster oven at work.  I’m hungry.  What I wouldn’t give now for a Little Debbie Snack!

Would you vote for me?   Go now.  Find the blue voting box in the middle of the page, and vote for the middle haiku “Ponder this, O Self — by Maren.”  Please move this to your #1 priority task on your todo list for today, and recognize that a pregnant lady needs food.  Don’t get sidetracked reading any of the other haikus along the way…it may deter you from what is REALLY important: voting for mine. 

Ponder this, O Self:
This year, be not resolute–
The desserts beckon.
–by Maren of Howdytoya

Give el’ preggo some grub.  Please and thank you.

PS You can vote NOW until 9am (CST) MONDAY MORNING!

Verdict: I’m officially old.

 

Proof:  Yesterday, I went to the grocery store with only three needs: toilet paper, ziploc bags, and dish soap.

 

Thoughts on toilet paper: You know you’re old when you tote a twelve pack of soft Scott toilet paper through Wal-mart, and no longer care what people think.  Somehow in high school, one gets this warped assumption that NO ONE uses toilet paper and if you EVER found yourself coerced into purchasing either that OR feminine products, the world had officially ended.  I can remember the embarrassment of grabbing ‘the goods’ and hiding them as best as I could, quickly scanning the aisles making sure anyone who could possibly see me purchasing such hideous paraphernalia was either old, blind, or already had their own Metamucil in hand. J  If there happened to be someone remotely good-looking or a young cashier, I’d scour the store for another available check out.  This would ONLY be the case if the TP was purchased prior to 10 o’clock at night.  After that time, the cashier could only assume that you’re tepeeing/wrapping a house, and then it suddenly became cool?!?!?!  I’m glad that I can now buy toilet paper, regardless of the time of day, and feel no shame.  Oh, the teenage days…

 

Ziploc bags: When you know to be careful about the ones you buy because you’ve accidentally purchased the ole’ snack-size bags by mistake a hundred times already (because they look to be the better deal until you get home and realize they only fit one hot dog inside them), it’s official: YOU’RE OLD!!!

 

Dish soap: When you stand in the soap aisle smelling all the available scents and figuring the cheapest cost per ounce, it’s official, you’ve reached old-dom.  When you start debating with yourself whether it’s best to buy the Aromatherapy, Anti-Stress, Complete, Gentle, Blossomy, With or Without Bleach, Organic, ‘Green’, Fruity, With or Without Moisture Beads, Gentle-on-Hands, Concentrated, Original Formula, Grease-Cutting, Anti-oxidizing, or Antibacterial, and you care in the least, It’s time to face the fact: YOU’RE OLD.

 

To succumb even further to my feelings of old-ness, I had to call for help at the U-Scan.  Only aged 70+ people do that.  To my young-at-heart credit, though, the machine continued to eat my ten dollar bill and sounded like it was sick and about to die.

 

Consolation prize: #1 At least I still feel young at heart. #2 At least I’ve bought toilet paper to tepee a house since my adult days (Am I cool, or what?!!?) #3 At least I can now store more than one hot dog at a time.  #4 At least all my dishes are clean.  

 

Happy Monday!

Randomness:

1.  For all you SURVIVOR fans: On my cruise, I met a REAL LIVE SURVIVOR!  And she hasn’t even been voted off from the show yet!  I met Crystal Cox and to my deep regret, my family adamantly opposed me asking her for a picture.  So, now, all you get is CBS.com’s picture to help you recognize her face, in case you are one of those fair-weather Survivor fans.  I took up a couple minutes of her time with a rather selfish question.  I asked her what she did on her video to get on the show…heeheehee.  As some of you may know, I’ve tried out a time or two or three or four, so I figured the advice of a REAL LIVE SURVIVOR could only help.  I asked a couple other questions then ended the conversation, knowing that though she was pleasant to talk with, she probably was weary of Survivor stalkers like me.  Her boyfriend (I’m guessing he was a boyfriend–CBS.com said she was single, so I’m assuming that’s who he was–Yikes, I’m only proving I am a Survivor stalker…) looked less than enthused at people yakking with her-  So, I ended the conversation and went on my merry way–wishing, at least I had taken a picture incognito.  Oh well!  That’s my fun cruise story of the day.

2.  And while I’m on the subject of game shows, I just want to confess that I’m probably the only person in America who tracks Wheel of Fortune’s winning spinid every day through my google reader…just in case my spin id is a winner.

I’m hopeful…or hopeless.  I don’t know which.

If you aren’t acquainted with the following things, you must drop what you are doing at once and acquaint yourself.  It is of utmost importance.  Go NOW and ACQUAINT, I tell you!

Recently, I was in the mood for something sweet and something minty, and sauntered on up to our vending machine at work.  Don’t judge.  There, I bought the most delicious candy bar EVER.  I crave one every day, but have only allowed myself a total of 3 because I don’t want to be like Augustus Gloop from Charlie & the Chocolate Factory.  So, if you’ve never tried one of these little do-goods, Drop what you are doing and go NOW.

Michael & I stopped this weekend at the whole foods store to buy some carob covered raisins.  While there, Michael introduced me to my #2 favorite item of today. It’s 100% of Naked wonder. The label claims that it is Mighty Mango, 100% Pure Juice Smoothie. Even though it’s supposed to be “All Natural,”  I definitely won’t be gulping one of these down every day.  The calories alone are enough to sabotage everything else I want to eat for an entire week.  You can better believe, though, when I’m looking for a tasty treat, I’ll be scoring one of these suckers.

My friend brought me in some homemade empanadas to work that her husband had cooked for her 30th birthday.  Let me tell you, it’s been a LONG time since something that delectable has reached my taste buds.  Every bite reminded me of a beach vacation…or camping on a mountain near a fishing stream…or a cruise to lalaland… you get the point…It was FABULOUS.  The inside filling is composed of beef, potato, and hard boiled egg.  I can’t even begin to explain how wonderful the combination is.  Pardon me– I’m mopping up my drool as I type.

Now, even though I’ve only shared food, it does NOT ALL have to be about food, eh?  Even though I often find myself dwelling and centered on the food that I eat, this particular favorite does not relate to food.  This favorite is a family of people in my life of whom I simply adore.  I love them for being silly, for being childlike, for being sincere in their love for me, for being ornery, for being my friends, for wanting me to read books, for not sitting still, for having the wiggles (and I don’t mean the video guys), and for being great kids.  (Not to mention, their parents are doing a terrific job, too.)  And for these reasons and more, I share my very favorites…

My name is Maren and I approve this message.